talk abot marriage

   In my entire life, I have never imagined that one day, one of my friends or someone in my circle of friends would be getting married and has kids. I mean, I feel so young that I never thought that one fine day, I will actually received wedding invitations from fellow friends. I thought that time will not come at least in the near future. But yeah, it's actually time I should get use to it.

   Anyway, not that most of my friends are married now. As far as I could remember, there are only two or three friends of mine are already married right now and one of them is currently pregnant. Can you believe that? We went to school together, went for competitions, games and did what teenagers always do together. 5 years spent together in a boarding school and now, she is already carrying a baby of her own. Gosh, I still couldn't believe it. Don't get me wrong, she's married not because she has nothing to do or no longer studying. Infact, she and her husband are studying medicine in Czech Repulic.

   And yeah, I have two of my freinds here who are married to each other last summer. And the wedding feast itself was held at my rented house here, in the UK.

   Suddenly, I feel like everyone is getting married. And everyone is talking about marriage and stuffs. Even when I am together with friends, out of the blue these kind of questions usually popped out, "When are you getting married?", "When are you going to get engaged?". even my sisters asked me this very same questions sometimes. and when I say sisters, of course that includes my younger sister. Gosh, kids nowadays, they grow up so fast. Well, she is 17 but, even when she was younger, she can afford to talk about marriage. Advanced huh?

   Not that marriage is a bad thing, it is indeed a good thing and is actually encouraged by Islam. But, we can't deny the fact that there are a lot of factors that need to be taken into consideration once you starting to feel like you want to settle down.

   and one more thing just to stress here, not that this is a 'gatal' age for people my age or what but lets face is, at a certain point in a young woman's life, she begins to think about marriage and family. She plans the big day, dreams of her future husband, and wants to settle down. Unfortunately for many women, that day arrives when she's fourteen. I mean, let's be honest, ladies. Some of us have been planning our weddings for a loooooong time.

    Hihi. But at the moment, I just hope to focus on my study so that when it's time for me to get married, both my partner and I are already stable financially and ready in all aspects.

   Oh and yeah, to tell you the truth, I am urged to write about this topic as we just passed 11.11.2011 (although it has been two days), when most of the people are getting married due to the nice combination of date to be remembered. Plus, I feel the need to write and I don't really know what to write about since my life has been so dull yet challenging with loads of work.

   Infact, look at these pictures...

Definitely not a soon to be wife material.

and a bad influence AT THE MOMENT(note the capital letters)

most of all, cute beyond reason. Baby type cute that my baby will be jealous of me . KIDDING. LOL

.

So this is how you make the movies jealous.

   To those who haven't watch this, you should be doing so then. Especially GIRLS. It's about a guy who wishes to marry his girlfriend and went to ask for the girl's father permission. And once he has got the father's approval, he quickly drove to the cinema where his girlfriend actually was, watching the whole thing.

   You don't get it, don't you? The girl was actually with her brother at the local cinema to watch a 'movie'. But she was then surprised by the trailer titled 'Making the movies jealous' where she actually watched the whole thing, where her boyfriend asks her father's permission up until the moment when her boyfriend actually went into the cinema and finally proposed her.

   Well, if you still can't understand what I'm talking about, it'd be better if you watch it for yourself. If you don't, well then it's your loss, sweetheart. =)

   I can't even think of this kind of proposal. Very creative. Luckily I am a girl, if not, my girlfriend would not be the luckiest girl. I can assure that.

   Credit to this guy who went extra mile to give his girlfriend a proposal to remember. Movie trailer marriage proposal. Who would have thought about it? Well, he did. =)

Every cloud has a silver lining

   Well everybody, it's almost the end of my second year. The three months summer holiday is coming. I should obviously be happy for that. Adding to it, I'm just so close to finishing my last paper. Rather, I'm all stressed up. Again. The feeling is almost as if I have another piled up assignments to do.

   Summer holiday should be one amongst many times of the year that we would be looking forward to, don't you think?  I was very happy few days back, thinking that it's finally time for me to chillax. Well, here's the good news, Is. Dream on. 

   The day after my very last paper, which will be on the 26th May, I will have to attend the individual study sessions. They are actually a preparation class for us, the going-to-be-third year students. T_T

   Not just any preparation, it's particularly to prepare us for our dissertation. In other word, thesis. Erghh. Thesis schemsis. 

   Although it's still a long way to go before the due date, we are obliged to decide and finalise and submit our topic before the 1st June. 

   It might not sound that bad to you. But to me, that's hysterical man! I mean, we will just be finishing our exams by then, how on earth do you expect us to do that. Do you know that choosing a topic for a dissertation alone requires more than just a day. You really have to put a lot of thought before deciding on your topic. It'll be a 10 000 words essay, thus you ought to pick a really interesting topic and something which you believed can be well elaborated concurrently.

   That's not all, I tell you. Apart from submitting the topic, we also need to justify why do we choose the topic, what do we want to find or prove, our ultimate aim, how it could be useful and also to give a list of readings that we'll be doing. 

   Worst is, at the beginning of next term we are expected to already have written statement of objectives, bibliography of approximately fifteen books and journal articles related to the focus of our extended study. And for each book and article, we need to again justify why that book or article is useful for our dissertations. And the list goes on and on. And all that are just a kick start before the authority approve on our topic T_T

   I see darkness. I don't seem to see my blissful holiday yet so far. Though, I'm trying to be optimist here. So, I still believe that there is a silver lining which I will see. I know there will be. Come on, humour me.

This is randomly random

   *woot woot* I'm so happy and I'm deep relief that I had finally finished all my 'killer' papers. And I've been acting as if I have no more exam ever since. I'm on cloud nine *super duper happy *. 

   Well actually, I still have one more paper to sit for, which is my Mandarin paper. But, I'd already planned for my getaway. Oh, did I mention that it's still not the end of my term yet? haha.

   I know, I know, I should focus on my paper first, but I really couldn't help it. Besides, it's just Mandarin. I guess. Not that I'm really good at it but I think it won't be that hard. It's my elective paper actually. So, I think I need not worry about it too much. haha. 

   And yes, I really love learning languages. I am not particularly sure why but I personally feel that it's such an advantage to know, understand and to be able to talk in more than just a language. Oh, yes Malay Language is not the only language I know *telling the obvious* haha. 

   Back in school, I studied Japanese Language for four years for my foreign language subject and I did quite well for my National Japanese Language Exam (I'm not sure what do they really call the exam). And now, I'm taking Mandarin as my elective and still learning Deutsch with my sister and Mr. Danny and of course, the TV. In fact, to encourage me to learn Deutsch, my sister bought me a Deutsch book so that I will be able to learn the language myself. She just know that I'm so into languages. Thanks, akak.

   My passion for languages is one of the reasons why I chose to further my study in this particular course.  Well, to those who are still wondering about my course of study, I am actually doing TESL (Teaching English as Second Language). Yeap, I'm going to be a teacher. An English teacher. God's willing, I wish I will be able to continue with a master degree at the least. 

   Anyways, regarding the getaway aforementioned, let me keep it in the dark at the moment. But, I promise I'll spill the beans once everything goes as planned, okay. *wink* Alright already, I'll give you some hints. It has something to do with the loved ones and also nature. 
   Hey, look at the post's title back! told you so. huhu. You've been warned, don't you? sorry guys.

   Okay, enough said. Pray that I'll do well for my Mandarin exam!  =) Till then, oyasuminasai, gute nacht, wan an, and good night!

at my weakest point

Dear God,

please help me. I'm at my weakest point right now and I really need some strength to keep me going. I no longer know what will happen to me, but I just hope that You will guide me through this. You know best, please help me go through this.

Girls' bestfriend

   I was in the library studying with Zack today and I told her how I was sad and upset yesterday. Fyi, I actually cried. Reason? Because I think that I'm fat and I look ugly. Not that I was attractive before. Why now? Well, this is what Mr. Danny told me when I cried infront him last night. "Susah kan bile PMS ni.." He will always feels at a loss for words each time my "best friend" visits me. Nothing he says will be able to make me feel better. Because apparently, I will always have ways to object him. Zero tolerate T___T 

   I wonder how men feel each and every time they have to deal with this syndrome. Guess that you just have to deal with it, huh? ngeee.

   So anyways, this was what Zack asked me then, "Tell me, how do you differentiate between PMS women and terrorist?"

   What kind of question is this? I wondered how this question was even relevant. I couldn't even  think of any relationship between women and terrorists. Then she smiled and say, "We can negotiate with terrorists." haha. Very tricky. Really? I don't know. But I think that was a good one. Smart huh? 

So, what do you think?

Going on a battle!

   yes! I'm going on a battle, tomorrow! my first paper for my second year exams. 

   and of course, I'm in an agitation mood. Who won't be this time of the year? I'm glad you said that. But unlike what people normally feel, which is this kind of fear for exams, I'm scared that I don't even know and don't even feel like reading/ studying. 

   OMG! What is wrong with me? Have I went berserk? Yeah. In fact, you always are, Issy.

   This is so different from last year when I actually studied extremely hard for my exams. 

   Yes, I read. oh, yes, did I not mention that I revise? 

   well, that's about it. because, in a way I kinda feel that what went inside my head straight away went out. what a waste, huh?

   not that my parents didn't tell me to be prepared and go to the exam hall with a peace mind. fortunately, they did! REPETITIVELY.to tell you the truth, I am shockingly calm however I'm not certain that I'm prepared. hope I am.

   well, the point is not that I can't even and don't even feel like studying. I am actually in a very tranquil mind right now.and this is worrying me!

   and now, I decided to put my exams schedule here because, whenever people asked me, I can't even tell when is the exact date and time of exams. I never bother looking at the exams' timetable. I tell you, this is irrefutably bizarre. I have never felt like this during exams my entire life.

Tuesday, 10/5, 4pm-5pm : Investigating English

Wednesday, 11/5, 1pm-3pm: English Language Teaching Methodology

Monday, 16/5, 1pm-3pm: Language Awareness

Tuesday, 17/5, 4pm-6pm: Contemporary Education Issues

25/5 (which I'm still not sure what day and what time) : Mandarin writing exams

   wish me luck, and do pray for me. don't worry, I promise I will study and do my very best. Pray that I'll thrive, ya! 

this picture makes me feel like I'm actually studying somehow.

but, looks can be very deceiving. pictures too.

Pictures speak a thousand words. agree!

shall we?

   my lecturer, Mark asked us today how do we say "shall we get on to this?" of course, most of my friends tried to say it and they all sounded the same, nothing different from the way Mark said it, "shall we get on to this". but, funnily they were trying to hard which made it sound all Malaysian and a little weird I must say. sorry guys. I'm proud to tell you, I didn't try saying it at all because I was still trying to think, "really, what do you expect us to say?" I simply didn't understand the main purpose of Mark's question. (I'm that slow ) And before the class got more chaotic with almost everyone attempting to say and pronounce the sentence, hoping to say it the way he would want us to, he then told us: "this is how you say it;

"shwi get on to this". 

   Ladies and gentlemen, and that's how the native would say it. silly enough, I answered him, "Yes, we shhh" omitting the we or 'wi'. to those who didn't get it, I was trying to say, "yes, we shall". I know, it wasn't even funny. but I'm glad zack laughed (not sure whether it was genuine or she was just being a good friend but it did make me smile). hehe. Danny, if you are reading this, LAUGH! THIS IS AN ORDER.

The Royal Wedding

   It was yesterday, the joyful day for Prince William and his university's sweetheart, Kate. They were pronounced husband and wife at precisely 11.20 am. I knew it, because I watched the ceremony, ok! on a streaming website T_T 

   some of my friends went to London to witness the big day for England themselves. However, due to my tight schedule, my priority (resting at home) and of course, for not being invited by the Queen herself (dream on, is), I decided not to go.

   I'm not very sure whether it's a regrettable decision, but so far I'm feeling okay. I know my friends can come out with an awful lot of reasons why I should go. It's just that I'm not a fan of crowds. It was reported that the ceremony was watched by 2 million people worldwide, so I guess I just saved myself from getting pushed by the crowds.

   I didn't really watch the whole ceremony but I managed to watch the rising part, the 'I will' part. It was nothing like I ever imagined. I blame movies and TV shows for this. they didn't kiss after the 'I do' part like what I've seen on TV. they only kissed outside of the Westminster Abbey. 

   the most interesting part of the ceremony I thought was the part where I can see people's outfits. Love the hats! very posh and elegance. I'm thinking of getting one for myself. *thinking* and speaking of Posh, she looked stunning for a seven-months pregnant woman. it can be tricky to dress a baby bump but, she just managed to do it. in fact, I just couldn't understand how she was able to wear a very high pump during her 7 moths pregnancy. well, it's true beauty is pain. but, tell you the truth, I don't think I can wear high heels which are more than 2 inches high, even not being pregnant.

   How magical people said the wedding was, I think it just felt different. seeing the English wedding, in comparison to our Malay weddings. how I am grateful that I am a Malay and a Muslim.

source: British Monarch

p/s: I love Joss Stone's red dress and definitely her hat!

Spring is here!

Spring is here! why doesn't my heart go dancing? lalalala~ yeah, because of the assignments! Gosh, how could you forget that?

3 down anyway.

yet, I have 1 more to go.

and ofcourse, a lot more to come. exams, of course. *eyes drooling*

so, nothing is new I think.

but I'm glad to share with you some of the pictures.

how spring is here, in Canterbury.

in case you are wondering, I'm the one holding the camera. ngee :D

the Brits, they just love sunshine.

this is the path I take everyday

my neighbour's house. isn't it pretty?

the view from my room.

zekzek, performing her zohor prayer :)

I'm not really sure what they call this place but it's there. hehe

look at the messy table. we were working so hard, ok.

that day, Ivon restrained herself from checking her facebook and mail. she told me she was 'fasting'.

and the two last pictures up here are something extra for you. I meant, for IVON. been begging asking me to upload her pictures and write about her many many times. she just love the publicity. haha. so Ivon, if you are reading this, then the debt is paid. in fact, you owe me for the publicity, howkey!

and I think, Mr Danny might have some other interesting places to share with us here. I'll ask him to if he refuses. :)

I'm a mess

   Yes! That's what I am right now. I'm under a lot of pressure and I'm miserable at the moment. I'm flooded with assignments and they just do not seem to finish. I've finished one long essay, but I still have 3 more essays to go. and those three essays come in a package. there are about three to four different parts of each essay that I need to write. I'm feeling down. I've been spending most of my time in the university's library. but, that only helps a little. I couldn't seem to find a mojo there. then, all I can do is shed my tears. I miss a lot of things right now. *tears shed again* I'm too depressed with all the lengthy assignments and yeah, another solid reason is due to the upcoming exams. I hate exams. who does? yes, people said that without pressure you can't find diamonds. but, I really hate pressure. but again I know, there's a reason  and good behind every little thing. I really hope for what I've been through, I can ultimately find diamonds *literally or not*

 my library date,Ivon MJ (Michael Jackson).

This is what she did when she's ran out of idea. actually, this is what she does most of the time :P

 Well, I'm not going to put my picture here for two main reasons. first, you don't want to see my miserable look. (it's horrifying and really serabai) and secondly, simply because I didn't take any picture of myself at the library. haha.and see, how easily facebook distracts people. luckily I've deactivated my facebook account a long time ago.though, I don't think it would be a problem for Ivon because she is one of the top students in my course. Anyhoo, I just hope that I can complete my assignments soon. or else, you might wanna pay me a visit at the mental hospital. I wonder whether they got one in Kent. *pfft*

my silent enemy

I sent 100 men to fight my enemy.  At the dead night, one survived and told me that my enemy looks just like me. 

it's not odd. because then I realised that, I am my own worst enemy.

The phrase proclaimed is in fact a solid truth for just about everyone. we always limit ourselves. it's not others, it's actually us..

Stop sabotaging yourself, Is!

to you, with love

I'm talking about the one at the back there wearing red sweater not this fury thinggy (ninchin). Sorry, ninchin.should ask ninchen to start a blog. huhu.

   The more I see you, the more I fall for you.

okay, I know I should have edited the picture first. but I'm too lazy busy.

Thank you, for being you.

*lovey dovey mode*

and they live happily ever after

THE END

I stand corrected

   and I thought I ONLY have three assignments since professional experience and contemporary education issues are basically the same subject. But HELL NO! I stand corrected. yes they are both under one subject but they are two different assignments. Oh, Viv and Vanessa, why do you really have to do this to me? I had been very calm knowing that I have three assignments which are still a lot but I think I can manage. now, realising that I actually have four assignments, I don't even know which should I start first. busy, busy, busy. yet, I still haven't start with anything and I dare to say that I'm busy. it's very depressing now. but I know, once I've finished with my assignments, the feeling is rewarding. but in the meantime, have to juggle with all these assignments.

meine short break

   It is still my spring holiday (a month holiday) but I had to shorten my holiday (when I say shorten it means, shorten my stay in Germany) due to the awaiting piled up assignments. Assignments banyak macam dah nak buat master lagi. 4 different assignments and each have to be up to 3500 words in length. berpeluh otak ni memikio. belum start with the writing lagi. Oh God, help me. give me some strength to carry on. The short stay in Germany was worth it somehow. Since I need to start all my written assignments in which if to be calculated will be more than 10 000 words, I will not proceed with any story telling here and let pictures do the rest (as if people really wanna read it).

I don't even know the name of this place but it's nice

awesome oo munich! (jakun)

pagoda

english garden

omputih memang suke berjemur.

danny robocop

munchen at nite

donau, deggendorf

"what my father always says"

   well, a strange way of starting an entry but I promise, it won't be a long one. this entry is specially made for us, the finger pointers. why I say us? cause whether we realised it or not, sometimes we tend to point fingers to others when things happened. and yeah, sad to say, I think I might had been that person before. (not very sure but I usually try my best not to be so judgmental). 

   when someone came to you and told you this and that, what had happened to him or her and this one person did this to her or him. what do you usually do? especially when the story teller is someone so close to you. I think I know. "oh, that Blender!" or "that son of a hamster!" (I'm not saying that everybody says that but, you know what I mean kan?) people usually tend to take side. and the question is, whose side are you on? usually and definitely the one who is close to you and the one who opens up to you. true? unless you are the kind of person who can think maturely before judging others. well, listen. here is what you should do. stop blaming anyone. you only listen to one party, how about the other party. don't you think that it is unfair? and if you know anything, maybe you should never get involved. yes, you can listen to them but that should be just about it. ask me why? hear what my father always says, 

" It takes two to tango."

   it's not just a matter of one person, both should have equal responsibility for things that'd happened. I know, it's just too good to be true. *wink*

the weirdest dream

   I had the weirdest dream today. come to think of it, I think it was horrifying and terrible. long story short, I was at this one camp, more or less like the national service camp (I've been to one when I was 17). but it was quite strange that most of my friends there were my friends from my primary and secondary schools. me and my besties went for kayaking. all of a sudden, I wondered how we'd managed to do kayaking on the ground instead of in the water. I was sitting at the front and tell you the truth, it was the worst experience ever. We rowed the kayak on the ground and oddly, around a lake. and why we didn,t row the boat in the water? that I found very bizarre. Then we had an accident in which the boat hit a rock and we were all thrown out of the boat. and did I mention, the lake we were circling had crocodiles inside?? so, as we fell, one crocodile went after my friend because we were running to different directions. and while running I thought I was in the safe zone. well, not quite. because I happened to run passed a tiger's field. and indubitably I tried my best to run and at the same time make sure that the tiger didn't see me. I was lucky though. however, that was not the end. I was so tired from all the running and escaping that I took a rest on a green. it was a safe place because it was full with other campers. abruptly, I saw four people carrying something on a piece of white sheet and there was this red liquid dripping from the sheet. as they got near, I just couldn't believe my eyes with what I saw. they were actually carrying a dead baby! how cruel was that? but they weren't the people responsible for the death. they were just some people who were working for the forensic. then I looked at the baby again and I was so sad because I just didn't understand why there were people out there who could harm an innocent child. what a shame. and well, the disturbance woke me up from my weird dream.

lenses make me look pretty??

   What do you think? yes! they are wonderful. they don't cover your pretty eyes, isn't that right? definitely understand! I myself prefer lenses. but mostly because I think glasses make me look a bit older a few years and it ruins my scarf! You see, it's very important to us girls to make sure that our scarves are comfortable and most importantly, 'jadi'. Now, back to the topic. people nowadays love to wear contact lenses. and I don't think most of us realise how dangerous these seem-to-be-harmless things can do to us. nay! not just irritation, lenses can also cause blindness, people! true! it is very essential for us to let the oxygen go through our eyes. whenever we wear lenses, we are actually covering maybe about half part of our eyes from oxygen. in short, it means oxygen in eye area is reduced by half. get it?? even the best fitting contact lens causes a compromise of the oxygen supply to the cornea. When a contact lens is in the eye, not as much atmospheric oxygen gets through to the cornea as compared to when there is no contact lens on the eye. Over a long period, too little oxygen is not good. I'm not very sure how to put it best but I can tell you, I've read a few articles and it is irrefutably true that lenses deprive cornea from enough oxygen thus this sure will interfere our visions. so, what can we do contact lens' lovers? Don’t wear your contact lenses all the time. It’s important to give your corneas a regular “oxygen break”. and when I say "oxygen break", it does not mean that your corneas need to take a break from taking oxygen but it's the other way around. get what I mean? I'll assume you do. *smileee* so peeps, if you are just hanging around your house, give your eyes a break, will you? there's no need for contact lens at this time. *wink* 

I loathe my writing!

   It's been awhile since my last post. I've been very busy lately and still am right now. remind me why do I have to study again? Good God! assignments after assignments. an awful lot of assignments. seriously, tiring. but it's my own fault, can't really blame anyone else. I was so lazy to start my assignments earlier. now, I'm regretting my it. I wish I could turn back time and undo things. yeah right. I might still be me. procrastinate. that's the word! btw, I'm pissed at myself. I am still not a good writer. I still can't produce a stupendous piece of writing. seriously, what is wrong with me?? *pffttt* why can't I improve? well, 1 thing for sure.I am not constant. my writing, to be precise. they were never the same. sometimes, I myself am impressed with my piece of writing. However, some other time, having read my writing makes me want to opt to suicidal. exaggerating. but, you get what I mean right? *bad mood*

"how do I look?"

   One of the most pressing questions and traumatizes most women is, "how do I look?" or "am I beautiful?". and incredibly this usually results in most women seeking for their flaws instead of what makes them feel good about themselves. Don't you think it's odd why women have to think that way? and when I say women, I'm also referring this to me (though, I'm a girl who'll be a woman one day).

   Girls also increase interest in their appearances at the early age compared to boys. should we blame Walter Disney for this? for getting us exposed to all the fairy tales when we were young that most of us have the same dream which is to be a princess one day. Suprisingly, women evaluate their self-appearance more critical than men. and it's just hard to find a woman or girl who thinks that she is perfect. there are but not many.

   Girls, girls, girls. we are so complicated, don't you think? a simple comment on a girl's appearance may offend the girl big time. It might turn you into a big criminal whenever you give us, girls such critic. So, guys BEWARE. even one tiny zit can ruin a girl's day. ask me, it sure does. and I'd been thinking last night before I went to bed. what if, a woman gets a zit on her big day, particularly on her wedding day? Gosh! it must be a NIGHTMARE. I totally don't want that to happen to me or else, there will be no photo shoot on my wedding day. and if it turns out that way, that will be a pity, not to have any memory of your day to remember -_-

    appearance is such a big deal, you see. to some people, self confident stems from their self appearance. I was once suffering from that. I have low self esteem due to my look and I didn't even dare to look at myself in the mirror. that was not all. I often looked down whenever I passed people in public. how unpractical is that?

   Perfection, perfection. what is really a perfection? it's subjective. perhaps, no woman is totally satisfied with her appearance anyway.  So, how do I look? :P