i have a new hobby!

   It's exams week for dear Danny. and I think I've found a new hobby  which is watching him having hard time trying to memorise things for his exams. he looks so cute that time. he is studying engineering but somehow he has to take a few subjects which I think and he thinks so too are unrelated to his course. it's just not his choice but seems like he has to deal with it. poor him, huh? pity my sis as well as they both are studying at the same place taking the same course. Nevertheless, I'm very very entertained seeing Danny during the process of memorising. he looks like a doll! CUTE! I'll totally wanna company him studying always :)

the pic is quite blurry but either way, he still looks very cute trying very hard!

"how do I look?"

   One of the most pressing questions and traumatizes most women is, "how do I look?" or "am I beautiful?". and incredibly this usually results in most women seeking for their flaws instead of what makes them feel good about themselves. Don't you think it's odd why women have to think that way? and when I say women, I'm also referring this to me (though, I'm a girl who'll be a woman one day).

   Girls also increase interest in their appearances at the early age compared to boys. should we blame Walter Disney for this? for getting us exposed to all the fairy tales when we were young that most of us have the same dream which is to be a princess one day. Suprisingly, women evaluate their self-appearance more critical than men. and it's just hard to find a woman or girl who thinks that she is perfect. there are but not many.

   Girls, girls, girls. we are so complicated, don't you think? a simple comment on a girl's appearance may offend the girl big time. It might turn you into a big criminal whenever you give us, girls such critic. So, guys BEWARE. even one tiny zit can ruin a girl's day. ask me, it sure does. and I'd been thinking last night before I went to bed. what if, a woman gets a zit on her big day, particularly on her wedding day? Gosh! it must be a NIGHTMARE. I totally don't want that to happen to me or else, there will be no photo shoot on my wedding day. and if it turns out that way, that will be a pity, not to have any memory of your day to remember -_-

    appearance is such a big deal, you see. to some people, self confident stems from their self appearance. I was once suffering from that. I have low self esteem due to my look and I didn't even dare to look at myself in the mirror. that was not all. I often looked down whenever I passed people in public. how unpractical is that?

   Perfection, perfection. what is really a perfection? it's subjective. perhaps, no woman is totally satisfied with her appearance anyway.  So, how do I look? :P

vibes oh vibes

   It's one of those days which I wish I could fast forward. I know it's weekend and weekend supposed to be fun. Well, today isn't somehow. I feel grumpy, irritated. feel like I've been surrounded by all the negative vibes. you name it. It's just so stressful. 

   One time, I really hope that time can fly so fast and tomorrow will be 10th February already. but (slap forehead), 10th February will only come if I passed 7th February, which is unfortunately my micro teaching day. and part of me is telling me that I'm not ready for that. in fact, just thinking of it gives me butterflies. it's not my first time though. adding to it, the one who are going to be my students are my own classmates. but the fact that I'll be evaluated makes me feel bit intimidated. Oh Mark, since you are one of my favourite lecturers, please be generous to me, okay?

   Anyhoo, it's not the worst day after all. managed to skype with my family just now! including my elder sister in Germany. and then it was already 2 a.m in Malaysia that everybody was already tired that we then had to bid each other good bye -_-

hiccups CURED!

   had the hiccups for about 20 minutes. It's pretty embarrassing. especially when you have to talk to people that time. talked to my friend. had to since I need to ask for my Mandarin handouts and homework. Kept hiccuping along the conversation that I had to appologise for that. since the hiccup kept on interrupting our conversation and all. but then Shasha just smiled and said,"Biasa la tu, nak membesar." am I not big enough, dear Mr. hiccup? huhu.. I've gained weight a lot!

   Mr. Danny, being him. cheeky as always, asked me to use that so called ancient remedy, which was to stick a small piece of tissue or paper on my forehead. for those who didn't know, this is what a mother usually does for her baby when he/she has hiccups. and me, trying to humour him, of course la took a piece of paper (stick note sized) and stuck it on my forehead. and what do you know, upon sticking, the hiccups really disappeared! and I was like, WHOAA! never thought that it would work. at least not that fast. and I'm still amazed now! WHOOOOAA! haha.

   This time, Mr. Danny's cheekiness did work! oh, his cheekiness usually works. because I just knew that the other day, after feeding me with Vienetta ice-cream, he asked me whether I wanted for more. before I even replied "Yes, please", he said, "dah habis.." Quite disappointed but I didn't want to show him my disappointment since I hadn't answered him (in a way, avoiding myself from being picked on). It's embarrassing if I did say yes and then he went, "dah habis dah" and then he'll laugh at me. So, I thought it's ok la. but getting back to the story, I just knew last night that he still has more than half the ice cream in his fridge! and when I quoted what he told me the other day he said, "I was just trying to pick on you". How mean is that?? I'll get you back! but I wonder why is he never scared of me. Pfftt.

noisy mind chatter

   Yeah, it's that time of the year! the time when all my nerves in the brain are working like really really hard. wondering to one thought after another. Pff! it's irritating. really. literally, you won't hear it. because it's an idle thought. what's wrong with an idle thought? of course it has something wrong! it's the kind of thought which usually creates worry and upset feelings. 

    my mind keeps on reminding and telling me that I have loads of assignments and works that need to be done. yeah, mind! I know. but how can I possibly start working when I feel everything is coming all together at once? uh, I'm glad that you asked. how do I put this.. hmm.. do you know the feeling, when you have lots of things that you need to complete all at the same time which drives you crazy because you don't even know which, where or when to start? yes, that's the feeling! 

Piled-up library books for my assignments.

   Thinking of all these things definitely will turn me into a hag someday. not even any expensive serum can help me to reduce my wrinkles that time. I'm just going to be a teacher, but now only I knew, it's not that easy to be a teacher. in fact, there's nothing easy in this world. if ever I heard people out there saying, "you are just a teacher" or "cikgu je pun", I'll indubitably smack that person in the face. or if that person is bigger than me, I'll give my puppy eye look and tell my Mr. Danny then let him do the rest! huh! mind you he gained his  taekwando black belt since primary school and now he even wears leather belt, howkey! (I'm not sure what has that got to do with taekwando and stuffs but I'm pretty sure that he is even more furious if he wears leather belt now).

I don't usually look happy with lots of books next to me.

can't believe that's me, at the LIBRARY

   oh, and yes! I wanna go for a short break. so, allowance please come in early. pretty please with sugar on top *puppy eye look*  wanna go while Mr. Danny is still free and available. *sigh*

In the meantime, how do I quiet this noisy mind chatter? I'm in misery (bit exaggeration though)

kerana diriku begitu kedek

   I remembered the tag line used in an advertisement for this one cosmetic product, "kerana diriku begitu berharga." Catchy, isn't it? I love saying it during my school days. but now, I have to admit that the appropriate tag line that I should use for myself is, "kerana diriku begitu kedek." kedek means, kedekut or what I always call myself, cheapskate. Gosh, I can't really remember how I managed to turn myself into this kind of person. but don't worry, I'm usually like that with myself only. I'm pretty generous with people around me. but please, don't ask me for something I cannot give la. pity me also, k? :P You see, I've been longing for a pair of new plush slippers since the one I've been wearing look really really horrible! really. I bet the homeless have better slippers than I do. and I have this one cute plush in mind. kept on telling about it to Danny each time I came back from shopping. hence, Danny kept on asking me to stop being so cheapo and do myself a justice. but, I kept refusing it saying that, it's okay, mine can still be worn and it's unnecessary. But, what do you know. it is written on my fate after all to get a new pair of plush! yay me!

   on that one fine day, I received a parcel which I never ordered. if it's not me, it must be Danny who had ordered it. I kept on wondering what is the package actually. Danny was very good playing dumb, trying not to spill the beans. nonetheless, my intuition told me it was something from him. the next day, I went to collect the parcel from the royal mail and upon holding the package, I began to smile and never stopped smiling along the way back home. I'm not crazy because, I already knew what's inside the plastic just by holding it! Danke, Mr. Danny! I'm sooo happy because he got me not the plush that I wanted but even better than that! most importantly, they are pink! Love you loads, my hero! this one's for you, "kerana dirimu begitu berharga!"

I feel inspired!

   Yes, I'm inspired! and today, I'm like 2,3 times inspired! not inspired to start any part of my tonnes assignments tho. just feel motivated to do or try some new things. I'm really free despite the fact that I have a lot of assignments and the best part is, I don't even bother to do or even start any teeny weeny bit of my piled -up assignments. *sigh* been spending the whole day, na-ah. in fact, the whole weekend going online. what a surprise. I think Mr. Danny had already given up, trying to push me to start off  with my assignments. don't give up on me, bebeh! LOL

   enough said about assignments. or else, I'm gonna start worrying. let me be worried later, k. huhu.. so, today was spent wisely. I went online the entire day. in fact, I still am now. don't blame me, blame the internet. look internet, how you've spoil me! I browsed this, that, here and there. then I watched a youtube video. I can't really remember how I came across this video. It's a make-up tutorial video. it was AWESOME! I mean, to a plain and dull girl like me, of course I'll say so. I never really like doing make up. not that I hate it, but I just don't know how to. I do have a set of Estee-Lauder make up which my aunt bought for me last year. yet, they still look brand new because I never really use them.  pity them, huh? note that I did use them in certain occasions.but thanks to the videos, by Michelle Phan, I feel like starting using them! on I-don't-know-when day. LOL. the videos she did are all cool, I would say. I first watched a video of her, teaching viewers how to do make up for people who are wearing glasses. It has caught my attention that I then started to look for more of her videos. they are all very interesting and easy for a slow learner like me to follow. Thanks, Michelle Phan!

   When I was still dreaming of myself with make up on*I'm over cloud nine*, then I came across some blogs whic had given me some more inspiration. mind you that I really love reading others' blogs. but I wonder, why others don't really love to read mine. Oh yes, I'm that lame. huhu.. But who cares. I mean, that's not really my initial intention of having a blog, am I? :P so, getting back to the topic. I was inspired just by looking at their pictures. I mean, come on, who wouldn't? I'm a girl, and girls do like to see nice and beautiful things. which in my case, beautiful people.Gosh! they look so beautiful that I just couldn't resist myself from scrolling further down and then forcing Mr. Danny to have a look at them too. but smart Mr. Danny though. How can he say that other girls look better than me, kan? not directly to me at least. huhu.. but what inspired me was, the way they dressed up. or should I say, the way they wore their head scarves. they were mind blowing! the colours, how they present them. Gosh! sometimes, I wish I can try those styles on me. nevertheless, I'm not really sure whether they suit me. but, see la how. I'm the kind of person yang sekejap je rasa nak something, than after a while, I will want other things that I'll forget about the earlier thing that I want. haha.. I think it's a good thing somehow :)

speaking of inspiring, see how I managed to inspire Mr. Danny (by force) to do the colouring :P

and my sister as well :P

   Although I said that I'm the kind of person who easily forgets her initial intention, I never forget that I want to make mama and abah proud, I want Mr. Danny, yadda yadda.. and, definitely I never forget that I want to keep on improving my English! yes! and that brings us to the third inspirational thing for today that had something to do with a blog which belongs to someone I look up to. I admire her so much. She's like a girl with full package and her English is superb! I love reading her blog simply because the language used in the blog. it's just enough to get me thinking, " I wanna be like you.." *blink blink* I really love English but sometimes I just feel like my English sucks and yet, I still wanna be an English teacher . perhaps a lecturer someday. I dunno but one thing for sure, I'll definitely try harder and harder for the sake of improving my English. and hoping that I will be able to inspire other people pulak. like the saying goes, great teachers inspire, great students perspire* wink wink* I made up the last part. but it's true! berpeluh ni nak jadi student cemerlang. but apparently, I'm not one of them. sad huh? :(

again, it turns out to be quite a lengthy entry after all, isn't it?