i have a new hobby!

   It's exams week for dear Danny. and I think I've found a new hobby  which is watching him having hard time trying to memorise things for his exams. he looks so cute that time. he is studying engineering but somehow he has to take a few subjects which I think and he thinks so too are unrelated to his course. it's just not his choice but seems like he has to deal with it. poor him, huh? pity my sis as well as they both are studying at the same place taking the same course. Nevertheless, I'm very very entertained seeing Danny during the process of memorising. he looks like a doll! CUTE! I'll totally wanna company him studying always :)

the pic is quite blurry but either way, he still looks very cute trying very hard!

"how do I look?"

   One of the most pressing questions and traumatizes most women is, "how do I look?" or "am I beautiful?". and incredibly this usually results in most women seeking for their flaws instead of what makes them feel good about themselves. Don't you think it's odd why women have to think that way? and when I say women, I'm also referring this to me (though, I'm a girl who'll be a woman one day).

   Girls also increase interest in their appearances at the early age compared to boys. should we blame Walter Disney for this? for getting us exposed to all the fairy tales when we were young that most of us have the same dream which is to be a princess one day. Suprisingly, women evaluate their self-appearance more critical than men. and it's just hard to find a woman or girl who thinks that she is perfect. there are but not many.

   Girls, girls, girls. we are so complicated, don't you think? a simple comment on a girl's appearance may offend the girl big time. It might turn you into a big criminal whenever you give us, girls such critic. So, guys BEWARE. even one tiny zit can ruin a girl's day. ask me, it sure does. and I'd been thinking last night before I went to bed. what if, a woman gets a zit on her big day, particularly on her wedding day? Gosh! it must be a NIGHTMARE. I totally don't want that to happen to me or else, there will be no photo shoot on my wedding day. and if it turns out that way, that will be a pity, not to have any memory of your day to remember -_-

    appearance is such a big deal, you see. to some people, self confident stems from their self appearance. I was once suffering from that. I have low self esteem due to my look and I didn't even dare to look at myself in the mirror. that was not all. I often looked down whenever I passed people in public. how unpractical is that?

   Perfection, perfection. what is really a perfection? it's subjective. perhaps, no woman is totally satisfied with her appearance anyway.  So, how do I look? :P

vibes oh vibes

   It's one of those days which I wish I could fast forward. I know it's weekend and weekend supposed to be fun. Well, today isn't somehow. I feel grumpy, irritated. feel like I've been surrounded by all the negative vibes. you name it. It's just so stressful. 

   One time, I really hope that time can fly so fast and tomorrow will be 10th February already. but (slap forehead), 10th February will only come if I passed 7th February, which is unfortunately my micro teaching day. and part of me is telling me that I'm not ready for that. in fact, just thinking of it gives me butterflies. it's not my first time though. adding to it, the one who are going to be my students are my own classmates. but the fact that I'll be evaluated makes me feel bit intimidated. Oh Mark, since you are one of my favourite lecturers, please be generous to me, okay?

   Anyhoo, it's not the worst day after all. managed to skype with my family just now! including my elder sister in Germany. and then it was already 2 a.m in Malaysia that everybody was already tired that we then had to bid each other good bye -_-

hiccups CURED!

   had the hiccups for about 20 minutes. It's pretty embarrassing. especially when you have to talk to people that time. talked to my friend. had to since I need to ask for my Mandarin handouts and homework. Kept hiccuping along the conversation that I had to appologise for that. since the hiccup kept on interrupting our conversation and all. but then Shasha just smiled and said,"Biasa la tu, nak membesar." am I not big enough, dear Mr. hiccup? huhu.. I've gained weight a lot!

   Mr. Danny, being him. cheeky as always, asked me to use that so called ancient remedy, which was to stick a small piece of tissue or paper on my forehead. for those who didn't know, this is what a mother usually does for her baby when he/she has hiccups. and me, trying to humour him, of course la took a piece of paper (stick note sized) and stuck it on my forehead. and what do you know, upon sticking, the hiccups really disappeared! and I was like, WHOAA! never thought that it would work. at least not that fast. and I'm still amazed now! WHOOOOAA! haha.

   This time, Mr. Danny's cheekiness did work! oh, his cheekiness usually works. because I just knew that the other day, after feeding me with Vienetta ice-cream, he asked me whether I wanted for more. before I even replied "Yes, please", he said, "dah habis.." Quite disappointed but I didn't want to show him my disappointment since I hadn't answered him (in a way, avoiding myself from being picked on). It's embarrassing if I did say yes and then he went, "dah habis dah" and then he'll laugh at me. So, I thought it's ok la. but getting back to the story, I just knew last night that he still has more than half the ice cream in his fridge! and when I quoted what he told me the other day he said, "I was just trying to pick on you". How mean is that?? I'll get you back! but I wonder why is he never scared of me. Pfftt.

noisy mind chatter

   Yeah, it's that time of the year! the time when all my nerves in the brain are working like really really hard. wondering to one thought after another. Pff! it's irritating. really. literally, you won't hear it. because it's an idle thought. what's wrong with an idle thought? of course it has something wrong! it's the kind of thought which usually creates worry and upset feelings. 

    my mind keeps on reminding and telling me that I have loads of assignments and works that need to be done. yeah, mind! I know. but how can I possibly start working when I feel everything is coming all together at once? uh, I'm glad that you asked. how do I put this.. hmm.. do you know the feeling, when you have lots of things that you need to complete all at the same time which drives you crazy because you don't even know which, where or when to start? yes, that's the feeling! 

Piled-up library books for my assignments.

   Thinking of all these things definitely will turn me into a hag someday. not even any expensive serum can help me to reduce my wrinkles that time. I'm just going to be a teacher, but now only I knew, it's not that easy to be a teacher. in fact, there's nothing easy in this world. if ever I heard people out there saying, "you are just a teacher" or "cikgu je pun", I'll indubitably smack that person in the face. or if that person is bigger than me, I'll give my puppy eye look and tell my Mr. Danny then let him do the rest! huh! mind you he gained his  taekwando black belt since primary school and now he even wears leather belt, howkey! (I'm not sure what has that got to do with taekwando and stuffs but I'm pretty sure that he is even more furious if he wears leather belt now).

I don't usually look happy with lots of books next to me.

can't believe that's me, at the LIBRARY

   oh, and yes! I wanna go for a short break. so, allowance please come in early. pretty please with sugar on top *puppy eye look*  wanna go while Mr. Danny is still free and available. *sigh*

In the meantime, how do I quiet this noisy mind chatter? I'm in misery (bit exaggeration though)